Skyrocketing oil prices "greasing" the skids for thefts from restaurants

I'll be the first to admit that I love offbeat news stories. I adored a wonderful story datelined out of England in which a plucky piglet had been rescued from near-certain death after being buried in a truckload of toilet paper destined for a large supermarket chain. So of course, an article in today's New York Times by Susan Saulny, As Oil Prices Soar, Restaurant Grease Thefts Rise, caught my eye.

The article turned out to be no laughing matter, but it was fascinating in a morbid, we-are-so-incredibly-energy-dependent sort of way. As it turns out, as sky-high oil prices have led to sky-high gas prices, opportunistic "oil rustlers" have started slinking around after nightfall near trash bins behind restaurants, where most grease containers are kept. The rustlers vacuum up the grease and trade it on a commodities market.

And just what happens to this hijacked lard? Well, according to the New York Times article, biodiesel is made by processing vegetable oil or animal fat with alcohol. It is increasingly available around the country and of course, you can find do-it-yourself instructions on the Internet. The fuel can be burned on its own or used as a cheap additive to regular diesel.

The New York Times goes on to point out that in 2000, yellow grease was trading for 7.6 cents a pound. Yesterday, its price was aboout 33 cents a pound -- or $2.50 a gallon. An interesting note: grease in which only one type of food is fried is premium -- so if you are thinking about becoming a grease criminal, try to hit a speciality joint.

Before writing this post, I consulted with my colleague, NDN Fellow and Green Project Director Michael Moynihan. As I am not an expert on why oil prices are so high and he is, please read his most recent blog post on that subject here. However, he was no stranger to the grease theft phenomenon. He even pointed out that there was a spot market for grease.

A spot market for grease?

That's it. I'm going home tonight and emptying my cabinets of any Crisco and Wesson to make a little extra cash.

Actually, I'm kidding (kind of). This story truly is a sad commentary on our inability to wean ourselves from fossil fuels to greener sources of energy.